Arms by Christina Perri
by TrueArcher
Summary: Beckett's thoughts about her and Castle. First fic ever. Please review. Thanks


**Disclaimer: All rights belong to ABC and the creators of Castle.**

**AN: This will be in Beckett's POV. Please review as this is my first song fic ever. Thanks.**

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"**Arms" by Christina Perri**

**I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start**

Ever since my mother's murder, I've poured my life into the search for her killer. The pain of losing someone I loved was too much for me that I built a fortress around my heart so as never to feel that kind of pain again. One day, you walk into my life and turn it upside down. You just barged right through the walls I've built like it was nothing and that absolutely terrified me. I never thought someone like you would be the one who could get past the barriers around my heart.

**You put your arms around me And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go You put your arms around me and I'm home**

You found a way to ingrain yourself into my life, bringing me coffee every day, going to crime scenes at ungodly hours, bouncing theory with me, and inviting us for drinks after solving a difficult case. Without my permission, you became such an integral part of my life that I couldn't even fathom living my life without you anymore.

**How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around? I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown**

We fought and I pushed you away many times but you always came back. I know I confuse you most of the time, especially when I open up a bit and then suddenly close off again. I know I keep changing my mind and I'm so sorry for making you go through that. They say you're the only one who can save me but I can never decide whether to let you or if I should continue on this path I've chosen that will undoubtedly end up with me falling deeper down the rabbit hole.

**I hope that you see right through my walls I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling I'll never let a love get so close You put your arms around me and I'm home**

Whenever you ask me if I'm fine, I say I am, but I hope you can see right through the façade that I put up. I know I'm already falling that rabbit hole but now, I hope you'll find a way to catch me. That day in the cemetery, while everything around us was in chaos, you held me in your arms and told me you loved me. When I woke up, I told you I remembered nothing but that's not true. You telling me you loved me is what allowed me to find the strength to get back on my feet. I've never let anyone so close to me, never wanted to depend on another so after your declaration, I tried to distance myself from you. Unfortunately, it seems it's impossible to completely remove you from my life. When I came back and we had that talk on the swings, I was trying to tell you that I want to make myself better for you. We never talked about it again after that but I hoped you understood because you were there again and we were back to our routine of coffee, bouncing outlandish theories, and catching murderers. You invited me to dinners with your family and somehow, however unorthodox our relationship may be, you gave me a home.

**The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone**

When you found out about my lie, you suddenly started pulling away from me and I couldn't figure out what caused you to suddenly pull away. I felt like my world was crumbling and I couldn't find a way to stop it. I realized my mistake one day, you were behind the glass when I was interrogating that suspect from the bombing case and you heard me say I remembered everything from my shooting. I knew then that you were pulling away because I unintentionally hurt you with my deceit. I know that if I were far away from you, I wouldn't be able to hurt you but I couldn't find it in me to leave you. That's when I knew that I had to find a way to make you understand, that I had to find a way to make you stay cause I'm selfish and I can't live without you.

**You put your arms around me And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go...**

I went to you and explained why I lied. At first you didn't want to listen and I understood that I had hurt you and you were protecting yourself. It was just like Dr. Burke said after all, that you were pulling away to avoid being hurt. This time though, I was ready. I was willing to fight for you, for us, because I know you're my one and done. There would be no one else for me so I had to make sure I didn't lose my one chance. I didn't know what other choice I had as you didn't seem to believe me any longer and so I told you I love you. You stopped mid-sentence and you seemed so shocked by what I said. Suddenly, you put your arms around me in a bone crushing hug and since then you've never let go.

**I hope that you see right through my walls I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling I'll never let a love get so close You put your arms around me and I'm home**

We started sorting out our issues and though I may still hide behind my walls occasionally, you find ways to see right through me. I was falling in a surely self-destructive path, but you managed to find a way to catch me. I never wanted love for I knew the pains a person may endure when love's involved but you were the exception. I let you close, let you save me from myself, and I let someone take care of me for once. You simply wrapped me in your arms and you gave me a home.

**I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth And I've never opened up I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go**

Despite my best efforts of not showing any weakness, you came and saw everything. I once thought you were only looking for another notch on your bedpost but you proved me wrong by staying through thick and thin.

**I hope that you see right through my walls I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling I'll never let a love get so close You put your arms around me and I'm home**

You didn't simply see through my walls, you walked right through it like it wasn't there at all. Now, here you are on bended knee holding a gorgeous diamond ring asking me to marry you. It's unbelievable considering all the pain that I made you go through that you are still willing to put up with me and all my baggage. I see you're starting to get nervous, I've been stuck in my own head for a while so I guess I better put you out of your misery and answer your question. I can't seem to find my voice so I simply nod my head. You put the ring around my finger, and suddenly I find myself being twirled around and I can't be any happier. You just put your arms around me and I'm finally home.

**You put your arms around me and I'm home**

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**AN: This is my first fic ever so please tell me what you think. I'll decide whether I should continue this based on your reviews. Thanks for taking the time to read though. :)**


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